monkey fucking cat!

so, I guess 10 years ago (I seriously can't believe it was that long ago!)... I was hanging out with this guy Dave. We went to the Santa Monica Pier one night for dinner and we ended up walking through the little "fair" on the pier. We played a few games and he won me a stuffed monkey. It isn't small, probably a foot and a half? round head, round body, arms and legs...
now you have the visual.
One day way back then I cam home from somewhere and that monkey was on the middle of the sofa, face down, arms all spread out. I thought to myself what the fuck?! It's bigger than both of my cats so I kind of chuckled because that is the only way it could have gotten where it was.
I began to play a game with it... I would put the monkey all over the house and later in a day or two it would be again, on the sofa face down. Or sometimes on the chair across the room, or the foot stool thing... one time it was even upstairs on the floor... but still moved from where I put it.
I was shocked. How does a cat move that thing around so much?
After a bunch of years I finally saw which cat it was and what they were doing with that monkey. My cat Bugeriah fucks that monkey! It's his girlfriend! I finally caught him in the act. He was embarrassed and ran away with a sigh, yep a heavy sigh and a guilty cat meow.
It happens all the time still. Like daily. Only when I am not around. I can step out for a minute and the monkey is on the couch. I can leave for the day and when I get back, the monkey is on the couch. Always face down and all spread out!
I keep it in this basket with all of the other cat toys. They take those out and play with them too. I often find them all over the house. But this monkey! It is now flat... completely flat. He fucked all of the roundness out of it!
Today when I got home from work it was on the sofa, so I moved it to the basket with the other toys with a little chuckle. Later, I took out the garbage... gone like one solid minute, maybe two... monkey was on the couch! My cat is a monkey fucker!