forced lefty

any of you having a problem with sore hands from texting? lately with all of the time off due to illness and travel I've been forced to communicate using my blackberry more often than usual. About two weeks ago I began to experience extreme pain in my right thumb all the way up my forearm. Today, maybe 6 texts and my hand was swollen and killing me! My family has a history of arthritis so I am concerned. I also met a lady recently who had to have surgery on her tendon on her right thumb due to texting! So, I have decided to teach myself to write, mouse, virtually everything with my left hand. Decided that at lunch today. Needless to say, nobody in the office can read any of my communications since noon! It looks like my nephew wrote whatever I wrote! Ambidextrous is my goal. To help deal with the situation I plan to be able to do everything with both hands. Its fun getting old! What about all those kids texting 300 times a day? What does the future of their thumbs hold? Only time will tell!

big trucks and guns

just traveled a week in Texas with my boss. Every client we saw picked us up in a big huge four door pick-up truck! everyone has guns. everyone hunts for food. apparently outside of Austin there is an abundance of "wild bore" which translates to pork chops to the locals. Yep, never in my life have I had a conversation where the words "I shot that pig so my freezer is full of pork" in it. I heard those pigs from Austin are "some of the best tasting anywhere"... These are a few of the discussions had in Texas! You will also notice people walking around with automatic 45's on their hip. Gotta love Texas y'all!

bounce house and taxes!

So, last Sunday, after a whole week of recovering from that freaking surgery I was ready to do something. My computer had died on Friday so I figured it was a good time to begin my Tax Preparation. Already a headache waiting to happen!
Of course, procrastination is key on a project like this one! Run some errands, eat, walk around some, dance a bit, maybe a few phone calls, anything to avoid the inevitable. Finally I'm ready to sit down and get serious and I look out my window. Right behind my place is a big blown up castle bounce house! UGH! The kids behind me were having a birthday party... fun for them! Figure 2-3 hours and it'll be over. NOT! these were big kids 9,10,11 years old?... they don't tire as easily! They were screaming for at least 3 hours constantly! My head was pounding as I tried to focus. I was bummed out cuz I wanted to go jump with them too!!!
Eventually I began to call for help. I finally reached my friend Tammy and told her if I couldn't come over to her place I would be dead on the floor at my place! Death by taxes, screaming and the bounce house!... WHEW! I escaped!!!
I got home late, much later. It was after 9pm and dark out. That thing was still up! GRRRRR!!! They finally took it down and stopped with it soon after. I survived. NO, my taxes are not ready! I'll be ready by the time my appointment with my accountant arrives though.

by the way

after all the drama I should report that I am finally feeling almost all better after the IUD removal last week. whew! thanks for any and all concern and well wishes!

from zero to a million!

WOW!!!! what a week! by the way, my at home computer died last friday night, therefore I have no way to update here unless I'm at work. I'm grateful to say I've been too busy this week to even take a moment to catch up. A lot of funny events to share with no time to do so!... Chocolate overdose with goobaly cake! bounce house headache and taxes! running late for dinner with clients! Very creative and excessively bitchy today! More as soon as I can. Don't forget to "SPRING AHEAD" SUNDAY!

jumped the gun

so, driving to and from work today felt like I was drunk driving... scary! probably should have skipped it I guess. Didn't realize it until I was already on the road. Had to deal with some stuff too. Glad I went in regardless. happy I made it home safely too. Probably need another day or so of rest. crazy!

back to work

ok, its interesting to note how long anesthesia stays in your system. as I was driving to work this morning I realized I was still high! was a bit scared to be driving... having said that, as co-workers asked how I was feeling my response has been "tired, sore and stoned"... that's true.
I've been typing all day, like usual, but today my hands are killing me. I looked down and was reminded that each hand has a huge bruise on it. the left one was an unsuccessful attempt to put an IV in and the right one was successful. So, more pain... nice!
I brought a vicodin to the office with me just in case. yes, I took it. now I feel like I'm sitting on hot needles with shooting pains, at a bar having had a martini or two. fun stuff! more will be revealed.

recovery

wow! should I say stimulus right now too! haha... not talking about our country, or our economy... referring to my recent "little surgery". The before mentioned IUD removal. Yesterday was the "procedure" in the hospital, under anesthesia. Considered an official surgery. What a crazy experience! Of course I am an HMO right now so I find myself in hospitals and doctor offices I would not have necessarily chosen as a PPO. Either way, the job gets done and you meet interesting people along the way. Kayla picked me up at 5am! and drove me to the Gardena Memorial Hospital where my procedure was scheduled at 7:30. Made it through admitting after they slammed me with a $700 COD charge for my insurance deductible. Of course nobody bothered to tell me about that! I could hardly wait for the anesthesia after that swift kick in the bank account.
In the "triage" getting "prepped" at least 4 different nurses or whatever swing by, review my file and ask me the same series of questions: when was the last time you ate or drank? do you have diabetes, strokes, etc.. One of which is a nurse who says she will be attending my surgery. I took that opportunity to ask her a couple of pending questions. How do they dilate me? Will it hurt when I wake up? for how long? I guess people don't ask questions as she seemed miffed by my interview.
Next the anesthesiologist comes in. Whatever she is saying I can't even focus because I was transfixed on her jewelry. Not diamonds, semi-precious set of lapis from spain as I am told by her. I told her as soon as she knocks me out she can feel free to drop that set into my bag of personal belongings under my bed! she laughed.
Ok, finally my doctor arrives, lets get this party started! I'm on the operating table feeling the meds (that was my favorite part). Next thing I know I am KIND OF waking up to this little Indian woman shaking this container at me and saying "we got it out Laura". And then she was gone! Was that a dream? It looked like my doctor! Moments later I am in EXTREME PAIN and shivering like crazy for what seemed like forever! (that was the worst part of the entire day) FINALLY someone approached me with some warm blankets and a shot of demerol... 10 long minutes later I could finally relax. Love demerol! and warm blankets, another favorite moment. Waiting, waiting, waiting. Half hour in "recovery", wheel me into "triage" again. They ask what "his name is" regarding who is waiting for me outside. As we all know, I don't have a "him" in my life. Kayla was waiting outside in her car. Of course everything I do, and probably most everyone I know as well, is done unlike the rest of society!
I was fighting with my bed trying to reach the bag of belongings underneath to get to my phone. Needed to text Kayla to get in here or they would not let me go! Finally someone helped me to get my phone. Soon after Kayla was in my room. Of course her and I were causing a scene, the usual bantering and teasing between us. She was trying to take pictures of me! for those of you who know her, not surprising!... they wanted to get us out of there! I was finally told I could get dressed. They checked my vitals one last time and said "no sex for two weeks"... as Kayla lets out a loud laugh on that note from across the isle! I tell her to shut up and place my focus back on the nurse who is happy for the comedy relief. They hand me a box with a sandwich and some juice and let me go. I left the box of food behind and we were out of there.
A day of vicodin and rest. Today is the final day of rest. Motrin is the drug of choice today. Pain is bad, but not that bad. Back to life tomorrow... whew! Glad that's finally over!!!

Gaycist...

I am so fed up with the double standard society we live in. I can hardly believe that the recent Proposition 8 passed! I can hardly believe that most of the people that voted against gay marriage are African Americans... HYPOCRITES! How can these people who have lived with racial limitations and scrutiny their entire lives chose to do the same to another group of individuals?! Regardless of their personal judgements. Yes, the degree of scrutiny is different, but it is a reasonable comparison under the circumstances. And, who are they to judge in the first place?! Furthermore, the "Christians" who believe that "the sanctity of marriage is between a man and a woman". These are the same people with over 50% divorce rate! Another hypocritical statement! I thought the choice of being Christian involved acceptance and non-judgement. But not unless you first judge. Are the Christians their GOD? I want to repeat that... ARE THE CHRISTIANS THEIR GOD... ARE THEY GOD? ARE THEY? Who are they to judge? Who are any of us to judge?! I am insulted! Let the gay people get married, be miserable or not and get divorced in the "sanctity of marriage" if they choose. The irony is that they will end up celebrating their status as a married couple and probably work through tough times as they can appreciate what it feels like to not have that choice. In turn celebrating the actual "sanctity of marriage" better than strait married couples. The gay people can die next to the strait people in WAR! They are considered hero's if they survive the war without being "outed" first! BUT if they are found kissing their same sex partner on duty or off duty, they are discharged! WTF!Is this the America our forefathers intended? I doubt it! Its infuriating to see these stories still popping up in the news. I am not saying by any means that EVERYONE in any of the above mentioned "groups" has these beliefs, however the ones that do scare me! And listening to the facts shows that the above mentioned "groups" are the majority that appose to Gay anything. It is scary to see all of the strong apposing beliefs AGAINST what I put here. I still cannot understand the dilemma? AMERICA IS GAYCIST!

sick of being sick!!!

ok, I've been trying to spare you people of the drama due to its sensitive matter but this is getting ridiculous! Now I have the flu! It seems I've been on my ass in bed for 50% of February! Started out with a friendly trip to the OBGYN... yep, told you! Routine visit turned disaster! For those of you who do not know I have an IUD. Its been in for 7 years and I want it out. Normally a simple procedure, but of course nothing is simple for me. Mine is lost! Detail sparing here... I had to get an ultrasound and voila! there it is. Still my doctor is conflicted on how to remove it because she is shocked I even have it since I have never given birth! HELLO! Ok, we need to DILATE me to get it out... after several attempts and some vicodin that is not working as we would expect (more detail sparing)... she cannot find it still! Two days later I end up in the emergency room with such bad pains I cannot breathe! Have you ever driven yourself to the ER? Me neither... in Santa Monica they ask you if you want to valet!... how much does that cost? yikes...I'll self park. 8 hours and 4 or 5 morphine shots later I am released, free to go. I'm TRASHED on morphine and can't even find my way out of the hospital much less get myself home. Instead of bothering any friends I simply call a cab. Felt like I had about 8 martinis! diagnosis: ruptured ovarian cyst, may or may not have something to do with the fact that "edward scissor hands" was digging around inside of me two days earlier searching for the "device"... UGH! Recommendation, go home and take vicodin as needed for 3 to 4 days until the pain goes away... "it will hurt badly, just rest". great!
So, now that that is over with, I had to schedule an appointment to GO INTO THE HOSPITAL TO GET THE FREAKING IUD REMOVED UNDER ANESTHESIA!! yep,its considered a surgery! great! I need to be knocked out to be properly dilated to get that M-Fer out of my body! so, that is scheduled for Tuesday and I am dying to get this shit over with... BUT now I have the flu. So, today and tomorrow I need to lay around and feel like shit and get over this flu so I can go into the hospital on Tuesday and then lay around and feel like shit for a couple of more days... and THEN hopefully this saga will be over! I am so sick of being sick!

who are these people?! this topic revisited...

yep, here we are again! seriously! WTF!!!
online dating, unbelievable comments by random individuals... who are they? At work I was talking to a new online client. I love these people that are IT people from "the real world" with a "new client"... this guy had a conversation with me that was insane! He thought I was insane too! He wanted all the answers to the point where co-workers heard my end of the conversation and gathered around with disbelief of what this guy was asking. Among other crazy things, he wanted me to tell him what size box each of the over 15,000 items in our warehouse would need. Which is crazy, not to mention what would happen if someone ordered two things? or more? or any combination of any of the items in the warehouse! He was beside himself that I could not unlock the combination to his freight charges dilemma with specific details! Who are these people?
Ok, the online dating scene. These guys from other states insisting on instant true love by seeing my, or I'm sure any number of women's profiles. First of all, I tell them all I am not interested in a long distance relationship of any kind. They insist we can still chat, maybe something is there and I'm missing out. OK, I choose to talk for a bit knowing it will just go away soon. However, one guy actually asked me to "start my life over and move to Tampa, Florida to spend my life with him!" I have never met him. I have talked on the phone with him 4 times... text a few times! Who are these people? I kindly told him to lose my number.
Local dating... men are lazy. they want everything to just happen. they don't want to call you, they expect you to call them. they don't ask you out in advance, they think its ok to text you and ask you out to get together later today? As if I have nothing else going on in my life. They they get upset because I'm already busy!WTF?! What happened to the chivalry in this world! It's exhausting! Again, who are these people?! I can go on and on but this entry is already too long.

facebook update

yep, suddenly all of the old school Friends, literally, are popping up. Its really fun to reconnect with a lot of them, some I can't remember and can't believe they remember me! Others I KIND OF remember. I wasn't that interested in school.. school for me is high school folks. Not to date myself but that was A LONG TIME AGO!!! meanwhile, I was recently reminded that I was "one of the super cool Sweet sisters"... by an old school friend. funny the things people bring up! one guy reminded me that my old boyfriend Bob told him to leave me alone! He remembers that! I guess it really bothered him then, now he says looking back its funny.
Super close friends you lost contact with sending you great, actually meaningful gifts on this thing! that's fun too! I'm diggin facebook for the most part.
We have scraped the surface of the "blending of my worlds"... I am slowly beginning to be asked how I make my living. Not sure what people are thinking, don't care really. They know I've always been fun, crazy, wild, whatever they label me... their responses I believe confirm that some things never change. keep on facebooking!

a bit more on dating

yes, its been a while since I've approached this subject. been on a few first dates lately. all really great guys, good looking, some shorter, some exceptionally tall, mostly all nice. its exhausting. fun. annoying. good too. I realize we have to go through this process. yes, a couple of second dates too. not much further than that. the good news is that there are no shocking events or unbelievable stories that have come out of these dates lately. some better than others and that's it. Progress!!!!
more will be revealed.
doesn't make for great blogging. I realize its more fun when I have stories. I'm sure there will be something to say soon.

facebooking

are you face booking? apparently, who isn't? I reluctantly set up an account in order to view some photo's that were taken in vegas january. I was at a couple of parties and had many many drinks, so, curious what compromising positions may have been posted, I signed up. Soon after I had a bunch of friends that I know from work. Suddenly old friends from high school began to surface. its a virtual class reunion. amazing to reconnect so easily with old close friends, see pics and check everyone's life out now. kids, husbands, wives, lives...
now my life is blended. funny, nobody has asked me what I'm doing out in LA yet. that should be interesting!

Luxe Interior

Many of you will not know, some will know who I am referring to. Luxe Interior, the lead singer of THE CRAMPS passed away this week. I think it was Tuesday. Died of heart failure in his Glendale apartment at the age of 62. The Cramps are one of my favorite all time punk rock bands. I've had the pleasure of seeing them in both large and small venues over the years. And, I'm proud to say that the ONLY star sighting I was really excited about was in my first year of living in California, 15 years ago... I was leaving The Good Earth restaurant in Glendale with the guy I was dating and Luxe Interior and Poison Ivy (his girlfriend and the sexy female singer in the band) were waiting to be seated. We had a conversation with them. Normally I would not talk to "celebrities" but they were right there and we had just seen their show two weeks earlier! A great moment and memory!
I included the cover of Fever by The Cramps in my Indie 103.1 Coup d'Tdat playlist. They are still to this day one of my favorite bands. Check them out. A good place to start is the song called Human Fly from Bad Music for Bad People.
Luxe, you will be missed! Rest in peace and thank you for all the great times and tunes!

update

I am measuring my existence by the level of pain medication I am taking these days. And for those of you "in the know"... NO... "it" has not been removed yet... for those of you not "in the know"... "it" is my IUD. Enough said! (trust me I can make this into a sit-com too, but I think I will spare you all the intimate details).
Down to taking Motrin for pain. Feeling ALMOST better... today, I guess 90%?... its been a tough week! Worked the whole day yesterday despite my boss saying "you look like shit, do you think you should go home?"... I flipped her off and went back to working.
The irony is that probably as soon as I get past this particular issue I will be in the hospital under anesthesia in order to remove "it". The saga continues!
For those of you sending well wishes and good thoughts of concern, thank you! I appreciate your support! More will be revealed.

this program temporarily interrupted

An unpleasant trip to the doctor, followed by some sever discomfort and a lot of pain. A couple more days off of work & a trip to the emergency room. Have you ever driven yourself to the ER? Where do you park? how long will you be there? "would you like to valet?"...
A few doses of morphine while working to set up a new account with the nursing staff, gotta make some money wherever you can these days! Make up for that parking expense!
They spin you around to face the tv to ensure your stay is comfortable. A poke and a prod... rolled away for a test or two, by the way, did we get some urine?...I'll get you a cup! No matter how stoned, I'd prefer to walk to the bathroom, thank you.
8 hours later and a shot of morphine for the road, you are free to go. Yes, you are in pain and this is why... but we cannot do anything for you. Bed rest and vicodin for about 72 hours. Please go see your doctor within 3 days for a follow up.
Here's a phone, call a friend or a cab. Only after you've gotten dressed, and only if you can find your way out! Remember, you've been properly medicated!
TAXI!... my limit is 2 martini's.. 3 or was it 4 shots of morphine?... feels like 4 martini's to me.
I'm ok now, about 85% better. Should be back on track by Wednesday.

desk dancing

at any given time, someone walking down the hall past my office can catch me boppin to the beat of whatever music is constantly playing in my office... I can't live without music! admit it! you've done it. If not, you should give it a try! now and then, if a really great all time favorite comes on, whether its the radio, your ipod, a cd... whatever, just turn it up and dance! right there in your office! I've been busted several times! its all about fun people. lets not take things so seriously! desk dancing burns 40% more calories an hour than simply sitting there too! Just think of it, you can have fun at the same time as working off those extra holiday pounds you just added to your waistline. not a fact... just a though! desk dancing! not on, at... unless you are feeling particularly uninhibited that day, then I say... go for it!

blue tooth update

news flash! no one is using them anymore! Ok, a lot less people can be seen talking on their phones while driving. I know I have elected, usually, not to talk on the phone while driving due to the mushy quality of blue tooth conversations. Seems like most things can wait for an hour or less until I get there. Most of the people I know have gone through this progression of first, using the blue tooth, to using the speaker phone, to not using the phone, to just using the phone as usual... just like speeding and any other law we all break while driving. As someone pointed out to me yesterday... you're not breaking the law until you get caught.
Be careful people! The idea was to save lives, I hope it does!
Now the new law is no texting while driving!!! No kidding huh!

epicenter was at my house

7:42pm Friday January 22 2009... S. California had an earthquake. We do have them about once every few weeks lately. Usually they are a subtle rumbling that last anywhere from 5seconds to 30 seconds... WELL! Last night I was sitting at home watching TV, talking on the phone and chillin w/ the cats. Mogli was on the chair across the room and Bugeria was on my lap. Suddenly, with no notice, not even for the cats, there was a LOUD BOOM! a vibrational rumbling for about 3 seconds followed by another LOUD BOOM!!!! I realized it was an earthquake. It felt like time froze. I was looking at my ceiling waiting for my house to cave in. It literally felt like a semi hit the building and then another hit it again going full speed! I have never been so close to an epicenter like that! It scared me so badly that I started to cry in fear. I immediately called Kayla, she felt it, but subtly. Finally I found out it was "only 3.4 and the epicenter was in Marina del Rey". That's where Creampie lives so I promptly called her. She said "yea, it woke me up but I only felt one boom." I told her the epicenter was in MDR and she said "thanks for telling me"... well on that note I decided the epicenter was AT MY HOUSE... THAT'S RIGHT! scary!

today I was wearing a strait jacket...

and yesterday I was called schizophrenic! its true...
OK, rewind to last night at 7pm-ish. I do this mentor thing and we had a group meeting last night. Group meaning all the kids and their mentors hang out together and do meaningful, fun activities. Last night we did this thing called "true colors". Its a personality type test using colors. The guy leading the meeting started to explain by showing an orange card and saying his ex-wife was orange... spontaneous, risk taker and he held up the green card which he said he is. Green is logical, analytical, conceptual. They are opposites and have difficulties getting along as a result. Long story short, we eventually took this test to show what our personality types are. There are two other colors Blue=compassionate, gold=organized... After struggling through the test the guy used me as an example. I have a SPLIT PERSONALITY! shocking I know! I am tied between green and orange! Actually clears a lot of things up for me! maybe you too if you know me!
So, that's the schizophrenic part, now lets get to the strait jacket! We had a product meeting today with Pipedreams and they have a new item... men and women's strait jackets! I tried on the white women's one. I wiggled out of it in 20 seconds! obviously for fun not reality. Yep, strait jackets can be fun too! Who am I???? Maybe a bit more off than you imagined... that's all! =P

Classic lines from Honey's Sales meetings!

This one came from the boss herself!!!

"I say NO to the Cock and the Butt Plug and Yes to the big vibe!"...

Of course me being me... I said, I'm sorry can you repeat that?! We were all laughing so hard we cried! Product review meetings are so funny! Our job is a blast!

walk of shame

we've all done it! VEGAS: AVN Show, Hustler Lingerie Party at Lavo, very fun party! With a group of girls. First time I've ever been in a group that "got moved to the main stage"... anyway, after SEVERAL drinks and dances with various friends, clients, etc... I'm ready to split. The party got super packed and you could barely move. I'd had enough. Tonya and I say goodbye to everyone and dance our way out the club. She is staying in the Pilazzo Casino where the club is, which is connected to the Venetian. This year I was staying at the Mirage across the street, but my boss had a room at the V so I had a key to her room to use to change close, etc... I had walked over from the Mirage in jeans and a t-shirt after unpacking earlier. My sexy dresses were in her room. Ok, now that you know this much, picture this:
I'm walking through the various hallways of shops and restaurants connecting the Venetian to the Palazzo. My feet feel like I'm walking on broken glass every step of the way. I decide I simply cannot do it, so I sit on a bench and remove the strappy stiletto's. Fine, I can handle walking through the casino in my sexy black dress barefoot just this one time!
I finally make it to Bonnie's room doing the "pee dance"... yep, I've got to pee so bad! UGH! My room key doesn't work! GRRRRR! All I can think of is how badly I have to pee so I go back down to the casino to the bathroom to pee, STILL BAREFOOT! (Loooooosssssseeeeerrrrrr!!!).
Well, instead of going back up to Bonnie's room & changing into the jeans and t-shirt with my sketchers, so I look normal walking across the street, I figure, I'm half way there so I'll just head back through the casino and outside across the street to the Mirage Casino... BAREFOOT!!!! YEP! Drunk, tired, my feet are killing me and I look like a used up WHORE!!!??? VERY CLASSY!! I heard people whispering as they walked past me "she's barefoot"... "that girl was barefoot"...
AND, that's not the worst part yet! Nope!
I finally made it through the Mirage casino to the hotel elevators and up to my room, ONLY TO FIND THAT MY OWN ROOM KEY DIDN'T WORK EITHER!!!! That was it! I had to draw the line there! I was not walking back down to the front desk. OH YEA... I FORGOT, I left my ID in Bonnie's room in my other purse! I couldn't even prove it was my room! UGH!
Wasted, exhausted, dirty bare feet... I call the hotel security to let me in my room from the house phone by the elevators. Then I FELL ASLEEP on the little bench they have in the hallway by the elevators. So, when security finally came they were waking me up telling me "mam, you have to go to your room, you cannot sleep here!"... what a looooossssseeeerrrr!
I proceed to tell them that I am the one they came up here for. I could not prove I was me or it was my room... but it was me I promise! I finally found A (one) of my business cards in the little clutch purse I was carrying and that was my ticket into my room! WHEW! talk about a walk of shame! After all that I was pist off and hungry so I at the $4 M&M's out of the minibar. Even more of a loooosssseeeerrrr!!!
So, if we can't laugh at ourselves, who can we laugh at!

OUT OF THE BUSH!!!!

WHEW!!! WE MADE IT! Out with Bush and in with Obama! I was talking to a client on the phone this morning and he said the funniest thing... yet totally true! "good ridden! only 23 more minutes and he's gone!"... I laughed. Finally, the beginning of a new era! I'm so happy its with Obama as our president! Now lets get to work...

Oprah talks SEX!!!

not sure if you caught Dr. Berman on Oprah recently. As a result of the overwhelming amount of interest and questions sent in from her viewers, Oprah had a follow up webcast on Friday the 16th for about an hour and a half with Dr. Berman. She answered skyped in calls from all sorts of people, couples, races, age groups, all over the country. Seemed to be an equally balanced representation of people. They carefully asked pretty explicit questions about all sorts of topics on sex. Being online allowed for a more open discussion due to lack of fcc regulations. I am so pleased that the machine of Oprah chose this format and subject! It was a very positive communication supporting sex in relationships with yourself and with your partner even if you have certain spiritual beliefs. Dr. Berman spoke positively about healthy use and necessity of SEX TOYS and PORN in our lives. How a healthy sex life supports and positively effects ALL AREAS OF OUR LIVES from parenting, managing stress to connectivity to your partner and even knowing yourself better on all levels. It was exciting and uplifting to watch from a human and business perspective! I am looking forward to this webcast going a long way in supporting the Adult Industry business which is often judged and frowned upon by the masses who also seem to enjoy it.
If you are interested you can go onto Oprah.com and watch the webcast "on demand" any time. Educational and uplifting as well as exciting to see sex get the thumbs up from such an icon as Oprah in our society!

go easy on Obama please

everyone is so excited about the inauguration, our new president, a moment in history. Obama is walking into the biggest mess ever! He's also the first African American President of USA... as we know, hence, history being made. He has made a lot of great promises of change with a lot of "hope"... in 3 years when everything is not fixed, or perfect, lets not blame Obama. Knowing the mentality of the people in our country he could also go down in history as the stupid N-word that f'd up the US. My point is, there is so much that needs to be fixed and its unreasonable to expect it could be fixed within 4 years. I believe he will make changes for the good whether we see their effects immediately or not. He seems like the most decent and sincere person we have voted in in years. We all have to keep things into perspective and do our part to help this country too. Yes, one person can make a difference. Just look around yourself and see what you might do to make a difference. No matter how small. Please, go easy on Obama, he is human and our country is severely f'd up!

going to be missed!

I turned on my stereo in my office this morning. As usual I switch around on the stations to find my groove for the day. Today I landed on Indie 103.1, in my top two choices. I got chills when I heard the solemn announcement. Indie 103.1 is going off the air effective immediately. Due to corporate radio structure and the inability to honor the values by which they started the station in the first place they are removing themselves from the airwaves. They will however be streaming live online at www.indie1031.com for all of us to enjoy with no restrictions, guidelines or laws. THE MAN KILLED MY FAVORITE RADIO STATION! UGH! I can't tell you how shocked I was. I was unable to function! I was being called into a sales meeting but I couldn't move past the news. I was devastated! It was all I could think of. This was the station I got to do that radio show on. The Coup d'Tadt... I submitted a play list and right before Halloween my list was chosen and I got to go in and BE THE DJ FOR AN HOUR! It was one of the coolest experiences of my life! I am so happy to have had that opportunity with this station! I realize they will be even cooler online but still, not as accessible to me. If you are interested, log on and listen for a bit. Farewell to a rockin good friend! Farewell Indie, and thanks for not conforming to the man!

urbandictionary.com

Be prepared to be completely grossed out! Some of my friends at work, obviously guys, told me about the urban dictionary. The things you learn in life... and can't believe exist!
WARNING!!!!! Completely Juvenile! explicit and gross, funny and sick! don't blame me, I'm all about education, best to be informed!

look up the following: www.urbandictionary.com
tony danza, birmingham booty call, alaskan pipeline, blumpkin, bukakki, dirty sanchez, hotcarl, glass bottom boat.

"short" story, big laughs

the names have been changed to protect those involved. its not nice. it is funny. maybe ya had to be there...
Sue and I were talking at a bar in Vegas on Friday after the show before our dinner appointments. Sue mentions something she wants to share with me admitting its wrong (not nice). I'm drinking and I'm me, so, let's hear it! Sue proceeds to inform me that she thinks her sister is a midget. I guess she's been watching some shows on TLC and learned the technical measurements of a midget are 4'9" and she thinks her sister qualifies. I point out that I think her friend Aria, whom I had met recently is also in that category. Aria was also in Vegas as she had kind of "crashed" the trade show and was disrespectfully been riding on Sue's coattails the entire time. Maybe that's what prompted this not nice progression. By the end of the night Aria was being referred to as the "Gnome" because of some of the unbelievable choices she had made while in Vegas. All of these dissing comments escalated the story around drinks and french fries and tears of laughter amongst a group of friends. Gnome fetish, Gnome bitch, Gnome earrings, Gnome you name it... The best, which brought me to my knees in laughter mid-casino, by our friend Hot-Carl, "If I got a hand job by the Gnome it'd have to be double fisted in order to feel it!"
Told ya! not nice, but funny! More later.

waiter spill

a group of us were at a booth at the Grande Luxe Cafe in the Venetian in Vegas for the ritual after hours meal. None of us knew it but it was 3am! We had been drinking and dancing all night long! French fries everywhere! A couple of tables up a group of 4 people we didn't know were seated. One of the group immediately upon being served it, spilled his glass of water and laughed it off. Nobody noticed that works at the restaurant. The next thing we see is the waiter approaching the table with a tray full of food. Suddenly as if in slow motion, the waiter slipped on the spilled water and in trying to correct his fall, the entire tray of food was dumped onto the guy who spilled the water! It was classic. All of his friends at the table pointed and laughed while other patrons in the area gasped! Then silence! The waiter walked away and went to get more food and some clean up napkins... FUNNY! as we left I said to that guy "want some fries with that?!" My friends and I walked away all of us laughing along with all of his friends too! You can't make this stuff up!

dumb question/best answer ever!

So, Bonnie and I are at the Mexican restaurant at the C gate in the Vegas airport. We sat right next to a couple of guys we saw checking in. A conversation was struck up... the usual; visiting Vegas for work? play?... They were there for CES, and we were there for AVN. Suddenly these guys are asking several typical questions you get asked as people/women working in the Adult Industry except one I've never heard before.
I was wearing my silver ring that looks like a big O and a silver necklace that has 4overlapping rings and mini silver clip hoop earrings. This guy next to me actually asked me, very seriously, with a twinkle of hope in his eyes:
"So, Laura, does all of your jewelry represent O for ORGASM?"... He was seriously asking me that! And, my answer was perfect and classic and one of the best answers I have ever had the pleasure of responding with! I said;
"no honey, its Tiffany".... which is true and snotty just the same! How funny! I LOVED THAT! Yea, I work in the adult industry so all of my jewelry means "orgasm"...

AVN in January EVERY SINGLE YEAR!

Whew! Made it back from another AVN Show, as many of you know. Almost sick, at home relaxing before work again tomorrow. Gathered lots of topical, funny stores to share. Had a lot of requests for blogging to continue. So, here we go.
Happy New Year! L