sick of being sick!!!

ok, I've been trying to spare you people of the drama due to its sensitive matter but this is getting ridiculous! Now I have the flu! It seems I've been on my ass in bed for 50% of February! Started out with a friendly trip to the OBGYN... yep, told you! Routine visit turned disaster! For those of you who do not know I have an IUD. Its been in for 7 years and I want it out. Normally a simple procedure, but of course nothing is simple for me. Mine is lost! Detail sparing here... I had to get an ultrasound and voila! there it is. Still my doctor is conflicted on how to remove it because she is shocked I even have it since I have never given birth! HELLO! Ok, we need to DILATE me to get it out... after several attempts and some vicodin that is not working as we would expect (more detail sparing)... she cannot find it still! Two days later I end up in the emergency room with such bad pains I cannot breathe! Have you ever driven yourself to the ER? Me neither... in Santa Monica they ask you if you want to valet!... how much does that cost? yikes...I'll self park. 8 hours and 4 or 5 morphine shots later I am released, free to go. I'm TRASHED on morphine and can't even find my way out of the hospital much less get myself home. Instead of bothering any friends I simply call a cab. Felt like I had about 8 martinis! diagnosis: ruptured ovarian cyst, may or may not have something to do with the fact that "edward scissor hands" was digging around inside of me two days earlier searching for the "device"... UGH! Recommendation, go home and take vicodin as needed for 3 to 4 days until the pain goes away... "it will hurt badly, just rest". great!
So, now that that is over with, I had to schedule an appointment to GO INTO THE HOSPITAL TO GET THE FREAKING IUD REMOVED UNDER ANESTHESIA!! yep,its considered a surgery! great! I need to be knocked out to be properly dilated to get that M-Fer out of my body! so, that is scheduled for Tuesday and I am dying to get this shit over with... BUT now I have the flu. So, today and tomorrow I need to lay around and feel like shit and get over this flu so I can go into the hospital on Tuesday and then lay around and feel like shit for a couple of more days... and THEN hopefully this saga will be over! I am so sick of being sick!