walk of shame

we've all done it! VEGAS: AVN Show, Hustler Lingerie Party at Lavo, very fun party! With a group of girls. First time I've ever been in a group that "got moved to the main stage"... anyway, after SEVERAL drinks and dances with various friends, clients, etc... I'm ready to split. The party got super packed and you could barely move. I'd had enough. Tonya and I say goodbye to everyone and dance our way out the club. She is staying in the Pilazzo Casino where the club is, which is connected to the Venetian. This year I was staying at the Mirage across the street, but my boss had a room at the V so I had a key to her room to use to change close, etc... I had walked over from the Mirage in jeans and a t-shirt after unpacking earlier. My sexy dresses were in her room. Ok, now that you know this much, picture this:
I'm walking through the various hallways of shops and restaurants connecting the Venetian to the Palazzo. My feet feel like I'm walking on broken glass every step of the way. I decide I simply cannot do it, so I sit on a bench and remove the strappy stiletto's. Fine, I can handle walking through the casino in my sexy black dress barefoot just this one time!
I finally make it to Bonnie's room doing the "pee dance"... yep, I've got to pee so bad! UGH! My room key doesn't work! GRRRRR! All I can think of is how badly I have to pee so I go back down to the casino to the bathroom to pee, STILL BAREFOOT! (Loooooosssssseeeeerrrrrr!!!).
Well, instead of going back up to Bonnie's room & changing into the jeans and t-shirt with my sketchers, so I look normal walking across the street, I figure, I'm half way there so I'll just head back through the casino and outside across the street to the Mirage Casino... BAREFOOT!!!! YEP! Drunk, tired, my feet are killing me and I look like a used up WHORE!!!??? VERY CLASSY!! I heard people whispering as they walked past me "she's barefoot"... "that girl was barefoot"...
AND, that's not the worst part yet! Nope!
I finally made it through the Mirage casino to the hotel elevators and up to my room, ONLY TO FIND THAT MY OWN ROOM KEY DIDN'T WORK EITHER!!!! That was it! I had to draw the line there! I was not walking back down to the front desk. OH YEA... I FORGOT, I left my ID in Bonnie's room in my other purse! I couldn't even prove it was my room! UGH!
Wasted, exhausted, dirty bare feet... I call the hotel security to let me in my room from the house phone by the elevators. Then I FELL ASLEEP on the little bench they have in the hallway by the elevators. So, when security finally came they were waking me up telling me "mam, you have to go to your room, you cannot sleep here!"... what a looooossssseeeerrrr!
I proceed to tell them that I am the one they came up here for. I could not prove I was me or it was my room... but it was me I promise! I finally found A (one) of my business cards in the little clutch purse I was carrying and that was my ticket into my room! WHEW! talk about a walk of shame! After all that I was pist off and hungry so I at the $4 M&M's out of the minibar. Even more of a loooosssseeeerrrr!!!
So, if we can't laugh at ourselves, who can we laugh at!