the people we love

its the holiday season. some feel lonely, sad, not interested. others are excited. is there snow in your part of town? my friend Kayla just moved here from Georgia, apparently they have better seasons than we do in California. She is one of many that puts their Christmas tree up at thanksgiving. I am not as festive as others. I also prefer to give it a bit more time. Some people are shopping, some are decorating. Some are in denial. In the past I have taken the Thanksgiving weekend to begin the project of making my gifts. This year I have lost my motivation. The economy is causing me to feel completely not interested. It doesn't even feel like Christmas. However, I know when the time comes I am going to want to share my heart and express myself to those I love. The ones who really love me and I known it. Its only a few select people, you know, the people you can count on one hand. The people who love us, the people we love.
I am grateful to have spoken to each of the people I love the most today. I want that more than any holiday gift forever and always. Thank you for being the people I love, the people who love me!

oh the drama!

back pain! pain in the back! went to the doctor. funny thing is that he fell off of a HORSE over the thanksgiving weekend so his bedside manner was gone! he had no patience for me and my shenanigans! He did not want me to tell him I was in pain and I needed a referral to a chiropractor. We had a fight. that's right, my General Practitioner and I had a fight. He got pretty vicious! and, anyone who knows me really knows that I love this doctor. I've been seeing him for about 10 years for various assorted ailments and pro health support. I have never argued with him! But he proceeded to tell me to take pills, vicoden!, naprosyn & some muscle relaxers, and to stop all activity! WHAT! IS HE CRAZY!!! hello! may I introduce myself?! He also referred me to an orthopedic surgeon and some xrays, and an MRI... and if after a couple of weeks the pain is not gone maybe a cortisone shot and if that doesn't work I will have to take a few weeks off of work and completely rest my back! and if that doesn't work then SURGERY!!!! Yep, he slammed me! all because I asked for a chiropractor and he was in a bad mood!
On the bright side, now I've got enough pills for a really great party! No more OPPP for a while! I decided the next day to go to a chiropractor on my own. Found this sports medicine chiro. He did ultrasound, electro therapy, heat massage, stretching and an adjustment. I walked out of there pain free! I still have a bit of a flare up. Turns out it has something to do with my car seat, so I have adjusted that too.
And, you remember those "as seen on tv Dr. Ho double massager" things?... Personal electro therapy device?! well, I was given one and have been using that too. I wear it at work, patches on my ass with wires connected to the device! whatever helps!
Theres an item we sell called "the rimulator"... its basically the same thing except people use it on their "rim"... use your imagination and laugh! YIKES!

inflamtion!

last week I started to write a blog called OPPP... but I changed my mind. I thought I might offend or unnerve... so, here I am visiting this subject again. Been in chronic pain since last week on I guess Tuesday?... its been so long and the pain is so bad I can't remember when it started since it feels like forever. You always think these things will pass, quickly! UGH! getting older sucks. my 8 year old niece told me this summer "she's falling apart!" if she only knew!
OPPP= Other People's Pain Pills! yea, yea, yea "you never take pills" I hear that so much I don't believe it. And, if you don't You don't' know what you're missing! Ad a cocktail and it can be a fun and inexpensive night. BUT! with the type of pain I have been in, not having my own prescription yet... OPPP come in very handy! Not to worry, I am handling myself with care! I have a doctor appt tonight. I already know what it is... and I'm not going into details. Lets just say its an assortment of inflamed things all at one time all in the same area... short for AGING! Fun huh!
aren't you glad you asked for the blogging again? do I sound like you? if not, I bet I Will at one time or another!

back by popular demand?!

crazy, I've had so many requests to update this thing. never knew what I had to say was so captivating. however, I suppose the purpose is to entertain while laughing at myself adoringly!
You'll never guess what I was just doing! Before I began to write this post I read my last entry on Oct 2nd. That was the day I chose the cleaning lady over the Diors!... SO, when was the last time you cleaned your bathroom? WELL... I just did it myself today for the first time in at least 15 years! No, I'm not a snob. I have always believed that if you can afford a cleaning lady, get one! Its part of the quality of life! Going on record right now to say that I have not gotten to the point where I cannot afford the cleaning lady... just the Dior shoes apparently! Somehow, looking at the upcoming 4 day weekend, I decided to challenge myself and see how it would be to clean my own house. I mean really clean it, all of it. I was betting I'd do a better job than Anita (the cleaning lady). I figured I didn't have to torture myself through it. If I do a little bit each night or day through Sunday I'd get it all done and see how I did. My place is not that big and I live alone. Normally I just keep it clean. Occasionally I'll clean the floors for good measure. So, I started tonight with the bathroom, my least favorite room to clean ever! Its beautiful! I did a great job. Tomorrow night the kitchen! See what you guys have been missing? in other words, things have not been that exciting for me lately! that is all...

what in the world?!

what in the world is going on around this place? the economy and the government "bailing out"... WHO? ok, so, business is really slow everywhere...??? right?! and a lot of people are saying they are super busy. Times like these we scramble to build more. Seems like all of the executives of the organizations that are in trouble are making enough combined to bail themselves out! maybe they should try that?
So, I'm going to return some amazing DIOR Shoes I bought to continue looking fabulous because I have been effected by this financial crisis as well. Turns out the amazing shoes cost the same amount as one year of services by my cleaning lady! Need to help support the job market right? Plus, I've always hated cleaning the bathroom! I love those DIOR's though!... Cleaning lady wins!
Credit limits being reduced, credit lines being revoked... houses in foreclosure, cheaper hair products, no new glasses... instead tune-up's on the older ones.
Times are tough!

huh?

got back from vegas two weeks ago... brought a head cold home with me. that was my big vegas prize! probably happens 50% of the time. well, this time, it has decided to stick around. in the meantime, I just got back from visiting my mom in NC... 3 more flights with coughing, sneezing and sniffling people aboard. Needless to say, I have not been able to breathe or hear clearly since the vegas trip. Added bonus with the recent flights. Not use to not feeling good for this long! Finally have the chance to visit my doctor for a prescription. Don't really want to take any antibiotics, but, rather that than be sick!
Got some guys lined up for dates! Need to be back on my game!
more later...

fun with the girlzzzz

My husband was in town! What a great time, it was fun to visit with him while not being interrupted by work! I'm sure you are asking yourself... HUSBAND?! ... well, my friend John that lives in NYC is "on the other team", and if he wasn't he WOULD BE my husband! We would be married right now and I wouldn't have to go through all of this dating madness you all keep reading about! Now that we've got that straight (and nothing else!)... I had my last night out with "the girlzzz" last night. John, his cousin and Will, John's friend. Later, we were joined by Will's boyfriend... he's great too!
ANYWAY! John got a crush on this guy working at the Cavali store in Hollywood, but was getting mixed messages so he requested my assistance. The mystery was what team this little cutie was on, my team or John's. His gaydar wasn't clear so I was up for the challenge!
We went to the store together last night after I got off of work. John introduced me to him, we'll call him Dave. So, Dave was on John right away, commenting on his "change in threads, etc" I decided Dave was on John's team then, however, soon after the mixed messages started flying! Both John and I did a fashion show, trying on various pieces and having fun. Compliments for both of us. The guy is in sales!
We left the store after about an hour even more confused than before. All of us swapping stories of what we heard and saw, each of us puzzled with a conflicting opinion.
John NEEDED TO KNOW! So, we decided to call the store and if the girl answered to just ask her, if Dave answered, ask him to join us for drinks and find out later, even if we have to directly ask after a couple of drinks. So, we called, Dave answered, and later he joined us.
We set up the table seating so John and I sat together with an empty chair on either side of us. That way when Dave arrived it would be a sign as to who he sat by. He finally arrived and chose to sit by me. Somewhat defining, but we needed more proof.
John told Dave that I wanted to see this one tall, dark, sexy waiter's ab's! I'm embarrassed as he is approaching us! Meanwhile, Dave says "ask him"... I say "why? you want to know?" he said "no", I said "why?" and Dave said "that's just not my personal preference"... EVIDENCE! and, of course, by then the sexy waiter arrived and Dave asked him to show me his abs! Of course I'm totally embarrassed, but still looking in case he decided to share! ALL of the guys wanted to see too, except Dave aparently!
Next I told Dave that John has a crush on him and we were confused about his "team". He had no problem clearing it up for us. He is straight, but metro. Dave took it as a huge compliment that John was interested in him. Dave is a class act! A very sexy class act. And, I was asked on a date! More will be revealed later. He's a bit young and I'm looking for something more serious. Its a nice compliment though! I know John wants me to go out with him, he wants DETAILS!

yes, its been a while

been out of town, saw some of you in vegas. nice to hear people enjoy my blog. sorry its been so long. a few crappy dates & one really good one, not to mention the re-appearing ex... life is fun! brings me back to "who are these people?!" Here's an example of one of the worst dates ever! this guy RAN to meet me. not because he was late but because he likes the exercise. which I think in general is a good thing, but fellas, we have to draw the line somewhere! I'm sitting on main street looking cute in my sun dress and flips, my hair is looking good and I'm feeling cute. suddenly this guy is sitting next to me (yes, the one I expected to meet), it was our first date. we had met a week earlier at the beach so maybe he got a bit confused?... always with the benefit of the doubt!... why was he SWEATY?! I thought to myself! later I find out he "likes the workout" SO HE PARKED 3 MILES AWAY AND RAN OVER TO MEET ME FOR THE DATE... kill two birds with one stone?... UGH! He only brought $10 and that was sweaty too! I tell ya! I paid the tab, HE KEPT HIS $10! and we will never see each other again! It's painful in the world of dating that's for sure!
The really good date was with an old friend. We have never actually had an official date. I think we were both surprised at how well it went. That was nice but has not evolved into anything, just one really good date and a few phone calls. maybe another date some day. it was nice either way. helps offset the horrifying ones!

don't say anything at all

haven't had many fun events happening. my birthday has come and gone. it was uneventful for the most part, with a couple of really wonderful gestures from a couple of very close friends. all in all, things are smooth sailing, status quo and sometimes a bit crappy. not much to say as a result.
the things I could say are not necessarily for the masses and may not be as positive or nice as I would like. the old saying, if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all... you would probably laugh at my pessimism regarding the topics I have that perspective on... DATING, still, choosing not to go there right now. Working on a more creative, positive way to express myself on that topic. So, more will be revealed.

nothing is ever as it seems

is it me or is EVERYTHING always different than we imagine it will be? I know, no expectations are good expectations... think the worst and you won't be disappointed. Yep, got that part. Regardless, somehow, we all embark on new projects, events, adventures and I think it would be unnatural to not have some sort of idea of what you think you are getting yourself into. Right???... so, its my personal experience that things really never are what I think they will be. I prefer to look at the cup half full, with sunshine around it and nice warm fuzzy things like that. The Buddhists say, there will always be pain and you will never be happy. They are simply implying that happiness begets sadness, pain/pleasure, light/dark, etc... its the cycle of life. woe! this has turned into a much deeper conversation that intended. See... nothing is as it seems! =P

no news is good news

based on my recent years filled with unbelievable amounts of stress... its nice to look around and notice that nothing is happening. really, nothing. which is refreshing. not boring at all, refreshing!
On the other hand it makes for a pretty boring blog so I'm going to have to reach into the archives to share another one of my crazy stories or anecdotes with you all...
I love it when the mail box is empty! breathe easy!

next time I'm rushing home

I was just reading "older posts" of mine. I remembered a conversation I was having with one of my other "single girl" neighbors on the day after the Hasmat Emergency at home. She did leave work. Came home to check on her dogs and to be here. I guess she said that with all of the firemen and other hard working men from the gas company there was a great selection of good looking guys around. Maybe they needed some cold water or cookies or something? I could have helped out somehow if necessary.
We laughed about next time... I am coming home! However, she didn't meet anyone that day... hmmm???? never know!

dating

Beware of the word wonderful... best to wait a bit before making that call. Everyone is always someone else when you first meet them. They say they're not, but they are. I probably am too... but then again, I can't be sure. I'm pretty direct. Still can't count on that in the masses. Its too bad that there is always a game even when they say there isn't. That's probably your first, second and/or third clue that its more a game than you ever imagined! It's exhausting dating. The biggest mind fuck there is! I don't understand why the misleading stories and the contradictions so soon after. I guess people don't think you're paying attention when they talk. That you won't remember just last week they said the exact opposite to your face! Well, our skills of detecting these things get much better as we go along. Usually its not that difficult, people are stupid! By now I have a lot of practice at it! More than I care to admit...
Always best when things just somehow happen, click and flow. Its been a while since I've had that experience.

chapter 4 forever!

I am sure most of you are unaware that I have been taking the course necessary to get my Real Estate License. I am not trying to be a Realtor to sit around on weekends at open houses with the hopes to sell a house or two... nope, that's not the case. First of all, I have been investing in real estate for years, sometimes more successfully than others. I have bought and sold a lot of houses. That does not give you the information necessary to pass that test. I have been invited to participate in a very lucrative project with some friends, but I need a license. I should note at this point that I have taken a class 3 times and was either kicked out or left eagerly. The information that is covered to prepare you for that test is so boring I could die! Well, being motivated by that project, I am struggling to get through this course again, at home... dangerous! I would rather do everything and anything other than study and it shows. On top of that, I have noticed it takes me 3 times to read a chapter before the shit sticks in my brain due to complete and utter boredom and a lack of interest.
As a result I was reading chapter 4, that's right only chapter 4, for the 3rd time today. It took me 2 hours because I did 3 loads of laundry, changed my clothes 2x, brushed both of my cats, called a couple of friends, rented a porno and masturbated... yep... and finally... I finished chapter 4! whew! it only took me 3 weeks?... or 4 weeks?... I am never going to make it in time for this project. However, I am going to make it this time if it kills me, and it may just do that!
It seems to me they repeat all of the information they teach you over and over again. Chapter 5 at a glance is the same as chapter 3, should help me get past that one this week?! ha, ha, ha! UGH!!! If anyone knows a way around this please let me know!

Paying our respects.

I was having dinner with Creampie on Wednesday night. We had just sat down and were ordering our drinks. Creampie is chatting away about her day. She says to me "I almost wasn't able to make it here tonight"... She said she was driving down Crenshaw, her normal route home, and she was looking around wondering "where is everybody at?!". Suddenly she came upon a funeral home and she said to me "Honey, I almost had to pull over and pay my respects!... there were a ton of hot men there!" I laughed really hard and responded with, "that ever happens again you better get me on the phone! I'll throw on a sexy black dress and pay my respects with you!"... we are seriously joking about funeral crashing to pick up guys! Kind of a good idea! I know, they did that in wedding crashers movie... Still wouldn't put it past Creampie and I!

good old friends and sunsets

whew! good to be off of work! its been a tough week!!!! (cat week...read below...YIKES!)
finally the clock hit 4:30 and the cats were out the door! had a great walk down to the beach. had to get my body some exercise, oxygen and sunshine... its beautiful out here! had a nice little dinner and the phone rang. its my good old friend DDA from detroit. love him forever! he called me for the sunset. it sounded windy and warm. warm regardless of the weather. this one's for him. sending lots of love! enjoy your hat! xoxoxo

friday clocks

what's the deal with time on friday? somehow the time seems to go by much slower on friday's. especially in the afternoon... UGH! I though it was 3 but its only2!!!! ready to get off of work and start your weekend.

crushes

ups and downs of getting to know someone while having the courage to communicate honestly and take care of yourself. hoping you'll get what you need and still get to look into those eyes. its always fun in the beginning. hopefully that continues for years and years and years. if you don't take a chance you don't get to know. the one thing that is true is that as you grow older you know what works and what doesn't quicker. love you, love others. honesty is always the best policy. it would be nice to turn that crush into real lasting love. it takes two people who actually care about that, along with the above mentioned... honesty and open communication as well as compromise, compassion, LISTENING and enough interest to participate equally. right?... what do I know... I'm eternally single it seems. sounds good anyway!

cat week

this is a subject for the girls... however, I'm sure the guys will agree! women in the office all "cycling" at the same time... its a challenge! As a woman its challenging enough on a couple of days each month to "manage" yourself emotionally. Throw in other women's tendencies and you've got one catty office. Seemingly unreasonable reactions, sometimes tears may appear, silence is golden, understanding is helpful, not always easy, but very helpful. On the days your co-workers seem more "to themselves" than usual, its a sign, could be any kind of sign, but check the calendar. Chances are you could use that kind of space as well. Its all for one, the way our great creator designed it. Yea!... got any chocolate?!

cold showers

update on the hasmat issue at my home. I woke up on Saturday... afternoon... to a couple of my neighbors discussing the fact that the gas has yet to be turned on and we still have no hot water. Men seem to not know how to handle things properly sometimes. My neighbor John called me to give me the update soon after I had overheard their conversation. He said he had called the gas company and "left a message"... I'm like... "left a message?!"... so, of course, I got the number and placed my call. The difference is that I hit the button that asks if you have an emergency... yes, we do... you guys did not finish the job you started yesterday when you turned off our gas.
Turns out, as a safety precaution, they cannot turn on the gas unless they have access to every unit at one time. They have to check for a leak once the gas is turned on.
That's near impossible no matter what the size of your building! We have 13 units here. 1/2 of us are friendly and someone has the other's spare key in case of whatever. The other half... not so available. That was causing a problem.
John and I set out to collect the keys or devise a plan to get into every unit that was causing a problem. Finally, after about 2 hours of phone calls, etc... we were able to place a call to the gas company and let them know that after 6pm we would have access to each unit one way or another. I was plotting to drop into one guys place off of the roof onto his balcony if he didn't answer the calls in time. I'm not joking... this was serious business!
John and I joked about taking something from each unit during the brief visit with the gas guy. I suggested their toilet paper or coffee filters... something really little, yet really meaningful! we laughed at the thought... didn't do it though.
Finally, at 8pm the gas guy had come and gone into each unit, checked the fireplace pilot lights and moved on. We had hot water again! Laura saves the day, with help from the neighbors.
This WAS NOT an interview for HOA President! Not interested! However, hot showers I am interested in!

wonderful blue eyed gentleman

I met one! its refreshing... and it makes me smile. Nice to be able to communicate with someone with whom you have so much in common. hard to believe we've been dancing around the same circles for years and have never met. yet, those blue eyes are connected to a smart, sexy, funny, thoughtful, kind person. happy to make his acquaintance. looking forward to finding out more about him and for him to find out more about me too!

green light!

quote from Candy... after 5 hours of raging gas they managed to turn it off. Alley all tore up, hope to be able to get into my drive/parking garage... but, hasmat crisis is over... for now!
All good news as my brain feels like a marshmallow and I am dying to go home and crash... vs crash and burn!
good times!

construction fun for all!

they have been building a house right behind mine for about 9 months now. apparently, today, some guys were JACKHAMMERING in the alley and they HIT THE GAS MAIN!... Yep! My neighbor Will went out in the morning and saw them drilling... he joked with them "don't hit the gas main"... so, I guess they did!
Right now my whole neighborhood is surrounded with fire trucks and hasmat trucks. They are "metering" to measure the gas levels. Nobody can open any garages in case of a spark. All of my neighbors that work from home are hanging out wondering if we will have to evacuate.
Candy, Will's wife was kind enough to contact me regarding my cats. Just in case we do have to evacuate, she will put them in their cat carrier thing and take them with her.
So, I'm at work and its better that I am here while all of this is going on, yet stressful!
There is NO SHUT OFF VALVE FOR THE GAS MAIN, so the City is drilling a hole in the street to create some emergency alternate route for the gas?!...
fun stuff!

one whole week!

I KNOW! I haven't given you any fun reading material in a week! Was at the ANE Show at Universal Sheraton and Hilton....
short comments;
twilight zone at work
wonderful blue eyed gentleman
vulnerability, humor, life!
love & live...
more will be revealed!

2 way blue tooth!

now that we have gone a few days getting adjusted to the new law, my friends and I are wading through the gymnastics of muffled conversations. What did you say?... Donny? no, Bonnie! huh? what?... I'm blue toothin baby! still hate it!

Blue Tooth, its the law...

Let me start by saying UGH!!!! I have never heard so many people say “I hate this blue tooth!”, “are you on a blue tooth”, “what? I can’t hear you! Are you on your blue tooth?”… we can go on and on…
Supposedly they have noise reduction. What if the window is down in your car, even a little bit? One of my friends asked me if I was driving in a rain storm! And, I am suppose to have “the best one out there”. I know, I know, we all have “the best one out there” and still we all hate them. What about the friend with bad reception blaming your blue tooth instead, knowing how much you hate it?
How about the people who love them! Wear them CONSTANTLY!... in restaurants, shopping, everywhere… yikes!!!
I have resorted to choosing to not use my phone while driving. Anything that happens while I’m on the road can wait. There’s nothing that urgent in my life.
However, sometimes we choose to chat. It makes the traffic less painful.
When on the highway, the noise that needs to be reduced is louder than on the city streets, so, sometimes I will chat while catting around town.
Another thing, how many things can a person be expected to hold on their ears? Not much is small on me, but my ears are. And, as we all know, I wear glasses so my ears are already occupied! There is barely any room for that thing to hook onto my ear! It takes me 5 minutes just to get it onto my head! Another UGH!!!
Creampie is constantly throwing hers across her car, her house, anywhere… hers will not last long! How do you enjoy your blue tooth apparatus?
It’s the law, use it or pay, another thing to get use to!

friends

We all meet a lot of good people that fit into our lives. Sometimes the timing is off for what we may be feeling.
They say you can count all of your real friends on one hand, I believe that to be true. One good hand.

band aids

Band aids... cover the wounds while they heal.
What happens when you THOUGHT the wound was healed, and suddenly, the band aid is RIPPED OFF... some healing has taken place, yet, now you feel the pain agian, less maybe, but still, it hurts.
Sometimes you have to "fake it till you make it"...
They say "time heals all wounds"... tic, tic, tic... healing.
As I write this, on the radio, that song... oo-oo child, things are gonna get easier, oo-oo child, things'll get brighter...
So, I have right now. I am grateful to be able to feel, that means I'm alive.
Put that band aid back on and smile.

other peoples stories

its funny, now that I have been blogging I guess some people are reading but to blog is not for them?! there have been a couple of friends coming to tell me their funny stories to share...

Shannon told me about this lady who passed out literally at her table at a bar/restaurant and lit her hair on fire with the ambiance candle! It was a funny story... Have you ever seen a person's hair on fire? I guess the waitress threw water on her head and was patting out the fire. The lady "slept" through the whole thing. Soon after "they escorted her out".

and then there's my girlfriend, Creampie. The adventures of Creampie! She went to NYC last weekend to get a booty call. Not that she can't get one here... but she was meeting a friend in from London. the anticipation of waiting for his arrival was exaggerated by his travel mishaps. EVERYTHING POSSIBLE THAT COULD GO WRONG IN TRAVEL DID! His flight was delayed and then cancelled, he got 2 new flights to get to her. His hotel was cancelled in the meantime. He finally made it to NYC about 5 hours later than intended only to find out his luggage was lost. He waited for 2 more incoming flights in hopes it would be there, nope. Finally giving up on his luggage and eager to meet up with his girl Creampie, he walked into a 2 hour taxi line! UGH! He managed to negotiate his way into someone else's cab and they had a champagne toast at 2am! He was originally suppose to arrive at 4pm. They finally were able to have a "fairy tale" weekend. Happy for them both. Luggage never found. Shopping was necessary.

samantha is coming!

one of my dearest, closest, best, best, best friends is driving back to LA right now!!!! she was re-hired for her new/old job. its true! when goalie owned the romantix stores her supervisor was threatened by her so he systematically disposed of her. she was forced due to finances to go back to ATL. but now that romantix has been bought and most of the management staff has been "let go", she got a call and was hired back for the same job over the phone. someone who is now a supervisor remembered how great she was at that job and asked her to come back. YEA!
she will be here on tuesday!

Wipe Out!

I live in Santa Monica, about 5 blocks from the beach. Been there for about 13 years now. I like to skate, bike ride, hang out and play at the beach. That's why I live there... so, yesterday I was skating on the boardwalk after work. I'm one of those chicks that dances and sings out loud to my i-pod... I know, shocking! Anyway, there is this little hill up the path by Temescal Canyon. On the way down I always speed through it and take off from there with the speed I've gained from the down hill roll.
Yesterday, for the first time ever, I wiped out! I don't have breaks on my skates and I don't wear any protective gear. I really have never ever wiped out. Well, I guess I hit a small rock or a crack in the path or something. I went FLYING INTO THE AIR, my skates up in the air above my head! I landed forward onto my left hand and then the rest of my body followed into a spin out on the pavement. I have a large C-shaped scrape on my right knee, swollen right now! My left hand has a few large gouges in it. My entire body from my left hand up to my neck and down my back is sore like I've been in a car crash. UGH!
Of course there were people around to see me looking like an a-hole hot shot wiping out... and of course, they all simply skated or biked right past me. Not one of them stopping to ask if I was ok. LA people are so nice!
Anyway, I got up, dusted all of the sand off of me and began to skate my way back home. Its pretty far, at least 2 miles back. I stopped at the nearest bathroom and cleaned up the blood on my knee and hands. Got the sand out of the wound.
When I got home I cleaned it up properly and applied some fresh aloe. I will be fine, no short skirts for about a week I guess. And, I will be skating again this weekend I'm sure.
That's life, sometimes you fall. I had a yoga teacher that use to say "falling is the same as not falling, its just how you react to it"... so, I looked stupid and now it hurts... that really is life!

brain picked

now that my boss has identified that I can write reasonably well I have been elected as the candidate for ALL inner office memo's along with all of our recent news releases, articles, ugh! that's why no blogs this week... ok!

WHY ARE PEOPLE?...!

I think that says it all! lol! most often less is more. this is one of those cases... however, I cannot take credit for that comment, as much as I would like to. I heard it on KROQ, Ralph said it friday morning. I can't stop hearing it and placing it in so many appropriate places in life.
that is all.

TGIF

ok, I think they are on to something with their "perfect portions menu"... the girls and I were talking about the food we planned to order for lunch being available in a smaller portion, the food is too big! I heard myself say "our country is a bunch of fat asses, the restaurants all have too big of portions in order to justify over inflated menu prices... if they would just reduce the size of their portions and the price a bit in these economic days a lot of people's asses would probably shrink too... 3 problems solved!"
Well, maybe not completely solved, but still, its a great start. It's true, most restaurants have too big of portions. There are people starving around the world. Everyone is complaining about gas prices, food prices, etc... None of us need to eat the amount served to us at most restaurants.
Am I wrong?... I ask you...

Chipotle cleansing diet and spa day

not willing to go into details here... figure it out yourself! otherwise, probably TMI!!! needless to say, beware of the word "chipotle". The "silver lining" now I can fit back into those white jeans that were just a bit too tight!
meanwhile, I did manage to put a conditioning mask on my hair, and do some extra moisturizing masks on my feet and hands and got a bit of sun on my legs. Hence "spa day"...

need I say more? it was a "productive" day off! =P

I'm published

some of you may know about my trips to Jamaica last spring. when I got back from the second trip I wrote a story about it. since then I have stumbled on a website that publishes short stories. the guy running the site is a writing teacher with a phd... he thinks there is a lot of "hidden talent untapped" and wants to share it.
I submitted my Jamaica story to him. He liked my writing style and gave me an assignment to pull a short story out of my original story. I did that and it is published as of yesterday.
Here is the link to the website and to my story! enjoy!

Issue #10 of A. Hicks Hope is on-line. www.ahickshope.net
TRAVEL - Newest section Jamaica, it’s the waiting mon! by Laura Sweet. She reports on her trip and unique experience. She even learned a few things about herself as well as about Jamaica. It was a fun trip and is a fun read. So go to our new TRAVEL section and have some fun. Jamaica, it’s the waiting mon! http://www.ahickshope.net/jamaica_-_waiting.htm

penis pictres!

do men ever grow up? that's actually funny... grow up... figuratively speaking! since the topic of conversation is penis pictures. I think in this day of electronic gadgets, websites, emailing, and the opportunity for mass discreet communication, guys all want their penis out there for the entire world to see. I think they all have secret hidden pictures, somewhere. their faces are not in the pictures. just random penis pictures. And, given ANY opportunity, or something that looks like an opportunity, they are eager to send that photo to a "willing recipient"... anyone can be a star...
just an observation. I know a few girlfriends who have received penis pictures recently. I personally have gotten a couple in the past couple months. its a new form of communication, of flirting? of sharing?! regardless.. would it be wrong to assume that boys will be boys and want everyone to see their toys?... nice to see... still interesting! still, not necessarily a bad thing, I'm just saying...

the flies???

our new office is great, however there are these monster flies that seem to live here! Its not like we are surrounded by them. No, there is only one per office per day. Today is my turn I guess! They are huge! Bigger than a pumpkin seed! big, fat, ugly, dirty, nasty, yucky fly zooming around my office, making constant passes by my face! people are walking past my office and watching me swinging my arms in the air like a freak. they have no idea what I am swinging at. I look like an idiot I'm sure! who has a freaking fly swatter! I think its Bonnie's turn next.. her office is right next to mine. I don't know for sure, but I hope my day with this huge stupid fly is over! .....

what's the deal lately?!

its been a few days since I've been in touch I know... got a bit side tracked. I've been flirting with this guy for months now. almost asked me out about 10 times... WTF?! finally last week he said "lets go for drinks this week"... I said great, call me. He owns the UPS Store where I get my packages sent so I run into him occasionally when I stop in to pick something up.
Well, he called that following Tuesday after his shift at about 7:20pm. I was busy so I didn't answer. He wanted to know what I was doing right then... what am I? Last minute Laura?... no, I am not! and, I actually have a bit of a life, so, I was busy...
Long story short, I told him next time we spoke that a bit of an advance notice would be nice next time. He said he got it.
Over the weekend I ran into him again. We talked for a while and he showed me how to communicate with him and his IM on my blackberry... I'm not very technically inclined. Once we got that up and running we proceeded to chat and flirt all day. He asked me to send him some pictures of me and he sent a couple of him, etc... all along discussing getting together this week since last week didn't work out. I was having fun.
He is full of mixed messages and is very non committal so it was suggested to me to ask if he was married. His response, Yep, married, two kids, bla, bla, bla... now you don't want to talk to me?!
Well, I don't mind talking but I can't date you! WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
This is the THIRD married man that has asked me out this year. In fact the only guys asking me out are either 22 or my age and married. I'm doomed.
As a result, I had to take a step back and catch my breath. Really had nothing to say for a few days. Clearly the only one getting any action around here is my cat and that monkey!
This is my life! Seriously, I want to puke!

monkey fucking cat!

so, I guess 10 years ago (I seriously can't believe it was that long ago!)... I was hanging out with this guy Dave. We went to the Santa Monica Pier one night for dinner and we ended up walking through the little "fair" on the pier. We played a few games and he won me a stuffed monkey. It isn't small, probably a foot and a half? round head, round body, arms and legs...
now you have the visual.
One day way back then I cam home from somewhere and that monkey was on the middle of the sofa, face down, arms all spread out. I thought to myself what the fuck?! It's bigger than both of my cats so I kind of chuckled because that is the only way it could have gotten where it was.
I began to play a game with it... I would put the monkey all over the house and later in a day or two it would be again, on the sofa face down. Or sometimes on the chair across the room, or the foot stool thing... one time it was even upstairs on the floor... but still moved from where I put it.
I was shocked. How does a cat move that thing around so much?
After a bunch of years I finally saw which cat it was and what they were doing with that monkey. My cat Bugeriah fucks that monkey! It's his girlfriend! I finally caught him in the act. He was embarrassed and ran away with a sigh, yep a heavy sigh and a guilty cat meow.
It happens all the time still. Like daily. Only when I am not around. I can step out for a minute and the monkey is on the couch. I can leave for the day and when I get back, the monkey is on the couch. Always face down and all spread out!
I keep it in this basket with all of the other cat toys. They take those out and play with them too. I often find them all over the house. But this monkey! It is now flat... completely flat. He fucked all of the roundness out of it!
Today when I got home from work it was on the sofa, so I moved it to the basket with the other toys with a little chuckle. Later, I took out the garbage... gone like one solid minute, maybe two... monkey was on the couch! My cat is a monkey fucker!

who are these people?

seriously?! I have been wanting to write a book of short entries with the brief encounters you have with people and when it is over you are left thinking... WTF???? who are these people?
pet peeve... a-holes that try to connect with you from across the country on myspace. who is that desperate? well, not me in case anyone was wondering!
what about the religious fanatic that feels it necessary to impose their sermon on random people in public places. Example... I was picking up my mail yesterday and this lady walked into the mailbox store where I get some of my mail. She started spouting off versus from the Bible and cursing all of us in there for not being able to recite them with her. Apparently that makes all of us THE DEVIL! Like I said... who are these people?!
I can go on and on and on... so, I will save that for later and spare you all for now!
feel free to ad any input on your version of "who are these people?!"

he

that looks like it says "he" as in he fell down the steps... but no... it really says he as in "high efficiency"... who knew! I guess probably everyone but me! I just bought a new washing machine. My old one died. So, I got a Whirlpool front load. I was not very focused on the details, how many can there be? its a chlothes washer. it's whirlpool. should wash the clothes fine. It was the right size and fit into my budget.
So, it was delivered this morning. Of course I was on the phone with Creampie chatting the whole time the delivery guys were here. Its their job to bring it in, remove the old one and hook it up properly. So, I was catching up with my girlfriend. Once it was set up I signed the paperwork and the delivery guys moved on.
Next I called Samantha, she had some urgent news. Well, as I listened to her amazing news I was flipping through the little owners manual. It didn't even occur to me that I would need to change the way I do things... change my laundry soap, what is a pre-soak? do I need fabric softener in the washer? UGH! I realized I was not prepared to use my new washer.
Samantha helped me to understand that I need this high efficient soap and her mother was mocking me in the background. She said "go get a how to use a washing machine for dummies book!"... I told Samantha to tell her mother to KMA!!!!
Anyway, Samantha explained the whole thing to me. Right now I am finally running my first load. Unless some disaster hits you should not hear any more on this subject. Ya learn something new every day!

correction

I just read my blog... how rude of me! WE are all selling a lot right now... the warehouse is really busy with stacks of orders. I know Tammy has put a lot through too. In my mind my focus is to sell everything we have so we don't have to move anything... that is not realistic but fun to think of from a sales perspective.
I do, however, have a lot of help! not trying to take all of the credit for driving the warehouse manager crazy and keeping everyone busy, busy, busy!
=P

on the move

here it is... moving day. well, not technically until friday. I am trying to sell everything I can before we move... easier to move right? the warehouse manager is going crazy because I am keeping the warehouse so busy and he is trying to organize this whole thing. good problem!
what is left of my office furniture is virtually gone. I only have plants on the floor and my virtual wobbly plastic card table desk with the axillary boxes to extend my desk space for the printer.

need I say more?... we are moving... now...

a love affair with chocolate

I think everyone can relate to this in one way or another at any given time in their life! It seems lately that I am spending time late at night in bed eating dark chocolate truffles... Its sad but true. And, people who know me know that my body doesn't function well on that level. Still, somehow, I can't seem to stop the late night chocolate snacks! Its only a few, but still, late night snacking of any kind is not a great choice at all. UGH! Its a struggle that will kick in high gear next week once the added weight hits my ASS!!! (by then I will have stopped and the frustration of watching what I eat more closely will be bothering me).
Well, we are all human. Some people believe that chocolate is better than sex... I disagree with that statement, but apparently when you are single and alone, sometimes chocolate is love...
This is me! Is it you too?...

glorified card tables!

We are moving. Our whole office is in disarray! In this process we have all had to clean out and pack up our office furniture. The boss had the warehouse manager go to Costco and buy these plastic card tables. Kind of wobbly, and really much smaller than any desk that was previously here.
Our furniture has been moved to the new location as "phase 1" of the move. The plan is for us to take our own computer, phone and whatever else personal to the new office on our last Friday at this office. Since our furniture is already there we can set up our office and be ready to work on Monday after the move.
Meanwhile, we look like a ghetto dormitory set up. Some of us have taken empty boxes and turned them upside down to allow for axillary extra desk space.
Tammy usually keeps her printer on her desk. She had originally put it on her card table and when something was printing the entire "desk" moved side to side. She was holding her monitor so it wouldn't fly off. She also had a cup of coffee on her desk that was only half full and sloshing back and forth so much it almost spilled while printing! I suggested she put her printer on an empty box for now so she didn't have an earthquake on her desk each time she prints something!
Moving is so much fun!

times like these you REALLY NEED A MAN IN YOUR LIFE!

This is one of those stupid things that really happened. It happened a long time ago but my memory of it is really vivid!
Usually when I come home each day my two cats are right at the door anxiously awaiting my arrival. However, this one day I walked in and no greeting?! I said "hello?!"... and waited... I heard this really weird cat voice in response. I'm thinking... WTF?!!! so, I go upstairs. For those of you who don't know, I live in a 800 sq. foot loft-style townhouse in Santa Monica, 5 blocks from the beach. Its nice for one person and two cats.
So, back to the story, I walk up the stairs and I see both of the cats sitting on the bed looking up very intently. As I look up something bigger than any bug I have ever seen flies around the room! I screamed and the cats jumped and followed it!
It was a bird!... a freaking bird had flown into my house! Yikes! We don't have bug problems at the beach and my place is 3 stories high. You cannot get in from the outside without a ladder so I USE TO leave my screen door on my balcony open all the time... that's how the bird got in.
Anyway, somehow it made it into the bathroom. Now this poor bird is flying around panicking... it can't find its way out. He smashed into the wall a few times and the windows too. The cats are freaking out! Dinner! and, I'm freaking out too!
OMG!!! What in the world do I do here?! I can hear myself complaining "this is exactly why a girl needs a man in her life! ugh!"
So, I went to my kitchen and got the biggest pot and lid I could find. Somehow I managed to corner that bird an capture it in the pan. Picture me tripping over the cats continuously under my feet making that weird desperate cat cry cats make... It seemed like it took forever. The time frame here is blurry!
Once I caught the bird I went out to the balcony and removed the lid of the pot I had caught it in. The bird flew away off into the distance.
The cats were clearly disappointed. I was relieved!... From then on I always close the screen door. Still, it would be nice to have a guy around... for a lot of other personal reasons... plus stuff like that!

visit with the family

it was a picture perfect day at the beach this weekend. the kind of days you imagine when you think about the beach. those of you that live in the valley were probably dying of heat exhaustion! ha! but when its over 100 in the valley, its 80-ish at the beach! gorgeous!
I had a plan with my sister that lives in Corona (inland empire... yikes! talk about hot!) to come out to visit "Aunt Laura" at the beach... 3 kids, brother in law, the whole deal. They were going to come around 1pm and stay until about 7?
Of course when you have a timeline and kids and naps and chores and homework, etc... things get pushed back some. They finally left their house around 1:30 and got to my place about 2:30. We were all ready and geared up for the beach.
Before they got there I went out and got some snacks and juice, whatever they drink. I don't normally keep stuff like that at home. I also would like to report I woke up with a bit of a hangover! UGH! getting moving was a chore in itself... but the kids kept me motivated.
When I found out they were running late I had a chance for a little disco nap. Well, while laying down I started to think that they would be here for dinner! I am really not equipped to feed that many people... seats, plates, cooking equipment, etc... Yes, it was only 5 people coming over, but I live alone and only have 4 of everything. I thought to cook some of those burgers and steaks but I haven't got a grill... how do you cook that many of anything?... so, I decided TACOS! everybody loves tacos! back up to the store for the basics of that meal and some jello for desert. kids always want desert. adults always want a drink! or a beer or wine, whatever... handled!
Once they got there we all packed up what seemed like everything you could ever imagine needing for the beach and started to walk down there. I live about 5 blocks away. Taking into account that the whole wide world came to the beach yesterday parking by my house and walking out is the best idea. The beach strait down from my house has no parking lot so there is generally only locals and its less crowded.
We finally got there and set up "camp"... the kids know the program already. Its like a dance the way they set shit up. Clearly their mom has them trained on what goes where and what can get sand on it and what cannot.
Now we get to play! Running in the water, jumping waves, collecting sand crabs and whatever else we can find. Matthew, my nephew, made a little aquarium in a bucket with all of the creatures he found in the water. My donation was a clam... still alive in its shell. He put that in with all the other stuff. It was fun to watch the kids entertain themselves watching the crabs and clam burrow into the sand over and over. They all watched out for Jeremy (he's only 2). Matthew put him in front of that bucket and gave him a little shovel. He taught Jeremy how to dig up the crabs and the clam so they were on the top of the sand and then he could watch all that stuff bury itself again. A couple of jellyfish washed up onto the shore too... weird! have you ever seen a jellyfish? they were about the size of a frisbee and clear purple color. But the tentacles were gone from the bottom so we guessed they were dead. What's in the water over there?... I actually thought to check the water quality report but decided not to cuz we were going to the beach anyway. Sometimes ignorance really is bliss!
We played frisbee, ran around and had a great time. Tammy and Joelle came to meet us up there too. They met my family and played in the water and hung out with us for a while. It was great that they could join us!
About 6pm we packed up and went home. All the kids take showers or baths... sand everywhere in my house! I started making dinner. Tacos were fun and good. Then Jeremy was tired and they had to get out of there.
It was a nice visit with the family. The kids always want to spend the night or me to do the same. Its cute they want to spend so much time with me; Matthew asked if he and Valerie could come to stay with me one weekend a month without their parents! and, Matthew can hardly wait to try the Flying Trapeze with me too! =P
An Aunt Laura weekend... fun for the whole family!

flying trapeze!

yesterday I finally did it! I flew through the air with... well not necessarily with the "greatest of ease"... but it was SUPER FUN! I know... what the hell am I talking about already?!

Well, last night I took my first FLYING TRAPEZE CLASS! They just set up at the Santa Monica Pier... http://losangeles.trapezeschool.com/contactus.php check them out!

Anyway, one class is two hours long. I skated to the pier last night after work. The weather was PERFECT! I wasn't sure if they would be open but I decided on the way home from work that I really wanted to do it last night! When I got there I skated to their location and waited for someone to notice me. It looked like everyone that works there was busy working with people. There was only one person on the trapeze and one person on the silk ropes. Still, new operation, small staff.

Finally the guy by the trapeze said "can I help you?" and I said "CAN I PLAY?!"... he laughed and said that I would have to sign a waiver. I said "whatever, I'm ready now, I have my credit card!" So, they had me sign a waiver and they strapped me into my harness.

I was so excited! I have wanted to do this for YEARS! Ever since Carrie did it on Sex in the City!

Well, I got a bit of instruction and the next thing you know I was climbing the ladder to the top. Once I got there I said hello to Effe... the instructor at the top of the rig. He unhooked me from the ladder climbing harness and hooked me up to the trapeze harness. He chalked my hands and reminded me of the take off stance. You hold onto the bar behind you with your left hand with your feet half way off the edge of the platform and your body is arched... your right arm extended. Effe brings the bar to your right hand and you grab it. He is holding onto you by a loop on the back of your harness and you are literally leaning forward A LOT... like, you would fall if he wasn't holding you! So, then he tells you to let go of the bar behind you and grab the trapeze bar in front of you. "ready" means bend your knees... "huh" means step off the platform and point your toes behind you. So, I did! and I was swinging! yea!

Johnathan takes over from there. He is on the ground below the net with lines attached to the harness helping you fly. I guess my form was great for the first time. They were both impressed! I follow directions well... Now Johnathan told me to swing a bit and on the next swing forward he will say "huh" and I let go of the bar and lay flat to fall onto the net below. As I dropped I was so happy! I worked my way over to "dismount" off of the net to the ground.

There was one other guy in the class. He was more advanced than me so he was working on different stuff.

When it was my turn again they wanted me to swing my knees over the bar and hang upside down with my hands above my head... already! holy moly! ok, a bit nervous... but still very fun!

I climbed the ladder, got the harnesses switched, got chalked and was ready to go again. Ready! Huh! and I forgot to put my knees up when Johnathan said to! so, by now I was on my second swing through and loosing momentum... but I still did it. Johnathan pulls the harness straps to help you with the maneuvers. Now I am hanging upside down swinging from this bar in the sky!

Put your hands back on the bar, take your legs down and swing until we tell you to drop...

I did that about 4 times... but better each time, still never correctly!

They were delighted by my enthusiasm and my energy. I kept on going back for more really quickly. They suggested I slow down a bit because I was using up all of my energy... I was still so excited. I did take a bit of a rest after my 4th "drop".

Johnathan had me practice a new technique to put my legs over the bar and hang from my knees. He gave me a practice bar and had me lay on the ground and practice pulling my legs up together and once they are straight up in the air spread them into a V and put them over the bar under my knees. He had me practice that 10 times while I was "resting". Now it was my turn to actually swing through that move. It was a bit easier to do than the first one they had me do. I did it correctly 2x.

By now Johnathan said it was clear I was getting tired because I was "flailing" in the air. I had less control. So, he had me go up one more time for a back flip and then I would be done! A BACK FLIP!

So I climb the ladder to the top one last time. Effe gets me prepared for my swing and I'm off. Johnathan tells me I'm going to swing my feet forward, back and forward, but on the 2nd forward swing I'm going to let go of the bar and grab my knees and do a back flip... yea right!
Ok, so, he shouts the commands and I did it... he spun me through that back flip with the harness ropes and it was so much fun! I was screaming from fear and amazement! Then I lay flat and drop to the net... whew! that was my first class... I was really tired and pumped up too!'

I went to the office and signed up for 5 more classes!

Today I am a bit sore in my arms and my legs and my abs... its amazing how you are getting this total body workout but you have no idea because you are concentrating so hard on what they want you to do.

I love it! Can't wait to go again. Next class they hope I can do the knee hang where I can grab onto someone else and swing with them.

Yep, this is my idea of excitement!

good meat!

turns out the steaks are AMAZING!!! really great quality and flavor, so tender you don't even need a knife! HA!

more meat than you can imagine!

today I was walking up the street with Joe our IT guy. We were going to subway for lunch when these guys in a "Midwest steakhouse" truck pulled up and said "hey! you guys want some steaks?!"... they got out of the truck and showed us their super deal. This huge box of a large assortment of steaks and burgers. They said that they "just dropped off all of their orders in the day and they needed to sell these or be stuck with them". They were offering buy one get one free... the boxes, buy one entire box of A LOT of meat for $425 and get one free. I suggested they go to our office and ask others while we went to subway.
In the meantime they are still asking us to take the deal. Offering it for $175 even!...
Anyway, we went up to subway and the line was almost out the door. I wasn't that hungry so I told Joe I was leaving and he could get something himself. I walked back to the office. I figured I could always go back later.
Now as I walked back to the office the meat guys are there again... I told them to follow me to the office. A group of coworkers were having family style Mexican food for lunch in the conference room. I figured some of them would be interested. Sure enough, when the meat guy came in with the box and the price list...
Between the group of us we bought two sets of buy one get one. The group also talked them into throwing in one more box for just $50 more.
What does this mean to me? Well, I am one of the recipients of the huge box of meat! I sold 2 each of 5 steaks for $40 to Henry (our driver)... and then I called my sister to see if she wanted to split the rest with me. It really is a great deal! Michelle was definitely interested. There are 5 people including Michelle to feed in their family. I'm sure she can always use a good deal on meat! Its a lot of food!...
Then Erik, another one of my clients comes into the office and I told him all about it, except he cut me off and told me the meat guy's pitch. He said that they do that everywhere. They probably never even have someone to drop an order off to, and no reason to have leftover boxes... its just their spiel! He was laughing at me... but still, I got this huge box of vacuum wrapped steaks... 5 kinds of steaks and a bunch of burgers! sitting right there! and they didn't look bad... Erik suggested the quality would be questionable. or that the price wasn't that great of a deal... But I disagree. The meat looks great and the price turns out to be about $3.50 per piece whether its a steak or a burger... not a bad deal I think!
Now it gets even funnier! I brought it home to put into my freezer which is usually almost empty. I keep a couple of pieces of salmon, some ground beef and a couple of NY strip steaks in there usually and a bottle of Sambuca... that's it. Now its so full I cannot imagine I would ever get through that amount of meat, ever! thank God Michelle wants to split it with me... but still, that leaves me with about 12 burgers and a shitload of steaks! woe! BBQ you say? well, that sounds great, except I don't own a BBQ... but my freezer is full that's for sure! UGH! Its guaranteed for a year in your freezer. I think I can handle that! am I crazy?!... dont' answer that!

heartache

the topic of the day... heartache. not fun, not funny. really quite agonizing. the harder you fall the longer it lasts. today its here again for me, strong! tears, that lump in your chest, ugh! it does pass, sometimes more slowly than others. but when you are going through it it seems to last forever. It takes its time melting away. Some days you don't even feel anything. That must be a sign you really are moving on. other days it knocks you on your knee's. its all a process.
I'll bet most of you didn't even know I was in love. it was short and sweet and it wiped me out. taking a big time out now...
what do they say? its better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all...

hangover fridays

diet coke and egg mcmuffin... ugh! shh... my head is killing me!
that is all.

that stupid spider!

we have all been through this I'm sure!
last night I was walking into my bathroom, had to pee... not wearing much... and as I clicked on the light, thank God I did by the way! I saw it... a black spider about the size of a quarter! That's a big spider! No hair. It looked like a black widow. Black widow's don't have hair right? Well, it stopped me in my tracks! Right about then my phone rang... I jumped at the sound! I was very focused on that stupid spider! What to do?! I was barefoot of course!
So, I left the bathroom, came back with the biggest, bulkiest shoe I could find. By then it had wandered up the wall to park itself on the black tile that trims my bathroom... Camouflage! Grrrrr! I smashed that thing repeatedly... it ran from the tile on the wall to the floor. I am jumping and screaming and smashing the shoe on the ground... UGH! Finally, squash!
I dropped the shoe and AHHHHH finally I can pee!
Last week we were all swapping scary spider stories in the office. Do you have one? I have several. It was just funny that the phone rang right when I noticed the stupid thing and I jumped. Was our office conversation the thing that energetically triggered the appearance of this big black spider?
Anyway, I piled up a ton of TP and scooped it up to flush. Later days big black spider!
I also had a talk with the cats, clearly they are not doing their job here!

plumbing issues!

ok, so each morning the first thing most of us do is take a shower. I guess we can say during the week before we go to work...
Picture this, I am naked in my bathroom, cats behind me of course!... I reach over to turn on the hot water first and then the cold, as usual. EXCEPT the handle to the hot water comes off in my hands! At the same time hot water comes rushing straight out of the wall like a fire hydrant! Shooting across the bathtub hitting the wall at the other end of the tub! YIKES!!!!
I'm standing there NAKED! Holding the stupid hot water handle while scalding hot water is filling up my tub faster than it can drain! I am panicked! What do I do!...
First thing, get dressed! Second thing, contact a neighbor, any neighbor that may know where the turn off valve is! I do know my neighbors and most of them have been there a long time but I am not the girl who hangs out with my neighbors. Anyway, Stuart, the guy right next door has been there a long time. He has helped me through a few little cissies... he's a good "guy neighbor" for a girl to have. So I decide he is the one to call. However, it is only 6:30am. Stuart works from home and sleeps later than that, but its an emergency! So, I call... no answer. I don't know what to do. I am freaking out! I call again, I knock on his door... I feel really stupid! Still, necessary!
Finally Stuart answers looking like I just woke him up, because I did!... He comes into my place and can't make the water stop either!... the tub is filling up faster than it can drain. I am now faced with an overflowing bathtub of hot water!... Now I need towels. UGH!
Stuart is out about the building figuring out how to turn off the water on the entire building! Have my other neighbors showered yet? UGH again!...
This is all true! my life I tell ya!
Finally we have stopped the water and now I need to find a plumber to come and fix this thing asap. All of my neighbors are pist at me!.
I found a plumber who "could make it out this afternoon". When he finally arrived he surveyed the situation and had to go up the street to the plumbing supply store for a part. I guess the knob was stripped somehow? and it broke off?... whatever. He fixed it within and hour. I was able to turn the water on to the building again and life is back to normal.
As my mom would say, "these are the days of our lives!"... yes, she watches that!

Pre-Cinco de Mayo?

So, another looooosssseeeerrrr story! My girlfriend Creampie and I had a bit of shopping to do yesterday before we could begin the Cinco de Mayo party. We went to Century City to handle that... once the shopping was out of the way we stopped at The Pink Taco for our first celebratory drink and some chips, salsa, guacamole, and TACOS!!! Their signature Cadillac Margarita was on special... I don't drink tequila though so I got my usual, Kettle Soda Lemon. The drinks were weak. We had to order an extra shot to bring them up to par. The food was not traditional and the drinks sucked... so, we decided to move on.

We stopped by Creampie's house to drop off our shopping bags. I suggested we take a cab. We are close enough to our next destination to take a cab or even ride our bikes. I did not have my bike over there though. Creampie "did not want to roll up in a cab" so we got in her car and drove over to Venice Beach to hit up Cabo Cantina for the Cinco de Mayo celebration!

Only to find out that the valet was blocked off by celebratory paraphernalia... UGH! now we have to find a place to park. We ended up driving through the closest designated beach parking after paying $7 only to find out that there were no more parking spots. That took us a half an hour! and, we got our $7 back too!

Now a dilemma! where to go?... how to celebrate? ok, lets go to Casa Escobar in the marina... we know there will be parking there. Nobody is ever there! True! lots of parking, no people, nothing! After one drink we just about fell asleep so we decided to chock it up to a good try and go back to Creampie's place.

This is how most of the events in our lives go... we wonder why we never do anything! What a bunch of losers!

Did you find a party? had we taken a cab we decided we probably would have been disappointed and wanted to leave right away anyway... are our expectations too high? or, are we crazy? or both?

what do you think? Happy Cinco de Mayo!

what's your stench story?

ok, after sending out the message of my new blog to everyone I know I'm getting a lot of laughs and a lot of stories! post your story for us all to enjoy!

and, the camel toe ad is not real... its a joke. however, within a day or two there will be ads that are marked "google ad" those are the ones you need to click on!

I will be sharing a lot of stupid, crazy and real experiences of my own. I invite you to do the same on my page! how much fun is that?!

running man with swinging schlong!

Last Sunday I was with my friend Jackie. We had a list of things to do. It was about 11am. My car was at the car wash up the street and we were walking 2 blocks over to the bike shop. As we walked past the Starbucks we paused to cross the street. We both saw him at the same time. We both thought the exact same thing too... "what is he wearing?" He was about 100 yards or less from us running in our direction. I started to view his "outfit" from the top down thinking he had a lot of the exact same color of brown on! Then I noticed it... his wiener was swinging back and forth. I said to Jackie "that man is naked!" and Jackie said "he sure is". By now he was crossing the street and running right towards us. Jackie said "lets get some coffee" I said "great idea". We calmly turned around and walked into the Starbucks.
As we entered the Starbucks there was this unspoken tension and anticipation. Everyone had seen him. We were all wondering was this man going to come running into the Starbucks NAKED?!... then the man in line in front of us said "whew they're here!" As we turned around wondering what he was talking about the police car pulled up right outside just in time!
After we had gotten our coffee as we walked out of the coffee shop we looked to the left. The naked running man was laying on the ground face down surrounded by police men. He was screaming. We went to the bike shop and Jackie bought her new bike.

the mystery stench

these are the type of things that happen in my life... its not even a joke! you can't make this stuff up!
For a FEW MONTHS there was this sour pungent smell in my house. I couldn't figure it out for the life of me! I thought it was me, except I could only smell it at my house in this one area. In that specific area of my house is the sofa, rug, coffee table, cat toy basket, work out shoes. I have stuffed my face into each item SEVERAL TIMES to find the source of this disgusting smell.

Every day when I got home from work I would smell it again, in the morning, again, UGH!!! I would smell my arm pitts, my breath, my crotch! My hair, everything on me! I even took vitamins with peppermint oil in them thinking it was INSIDE OF ME!...

Ok, so, I have had my sofa for about 10 years now and it has been through a lot. I thought it must be the source. It is a down sofa so maybe the feathers started stinking? the slipcover? was there something that died or somehow fell behind the sofa and spoiled? Yep, I moved the sofa and found nothing dead or spoiled. A few cat toys and ponytail holders...

I decided it was time for a new sofa anyway and I bought a new one. It has yet to be delivered. Of course, I had to "special order" it... can't just buy a regular model. Always something special for me! Coming home from the furniture store and very very proud that the stench will go away with the new sofa in 6 to 8 weeks when the sofa is replaced! yea! Still that smell was driving me CRAZY!!!

My sister came to town and I asked her if she thought my place was stinky? I asked any friends that visited... not a fun question to ask guests! Makes for a warm atmosphere! "hey by the way, do you think my house stinks?" Yep! I did it!

So, one day I was on the floor in my living room where the stupid stench lives too... I was working out. As I was waiting for the next prompt on the workout DVD I had in I layed my eyes on a candle that was sitting on the corner of the coffee table. Hmmm... could that be the source of the stench?... I picked up the candle and sniffed it. Seems like it could possibly be the candle. I put it outside the door and finished my workout.

Once my workout was done, about a half an hour later, I noticed... no more stench! I threw that candle away after taking note of the scent so I would never purchase it again! WOW!!!! No Freaking Way!!!! A STUPID CANDLE caused me so much greif and confusion and a new sofa too! for months!!!

seriously! I wanna puke!